ennui -- noun -- a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.
ennui -- boredom, tedium, listlessness, lethargy, lassitude, languor, weariness, enervation; malaise, dissatisfaction, melancholy, depression, world-weariness.
Well, the pendulum swings. If I was experiencing burnout from the stress and intensiveness of work last year at this time, I have definitely found the opposite in the ennui I have been experiencing for the past three weeks. And it is not that I don't have plenty to do -- I have been cleaning up 25 years worth of papers in my house, and doing some house maintenance deferred during the past 25 years of working. But I don't like doing these kind of things, and I need some goals to inspire me.
My goal has been to relocate to Việt Nam to help guide some development projects through the economy and culture of Việt Nam. I am particularly looking forward to meeting and working with Vietnamese people. But our projects are awaiting VN governnment approvals, so meanwhile we have waited here at home. We have now decided to head over to Ho Chi Minh City in any case in early February, and I can hardly wait.
I suppose that this ennui is what retirement potentially could be like, and I am not thrilled at the prospect. But I recognize that I am caught in limbo at this time where I cannot commit to longer-term projects or goals. When I do retire, I intend to commit to both personal as well as social goals and projects that will help to give the purpose and opportunity to learn new things that work used to provide for me. At least now I know extremes to avoid.